Monday, October 7, 2013

Feeling Like a Missionary

Hola!

Well I am starting to feel like a missionary finally. I think it started about the first time someone told us to get off their porch. I am getting pretty good at nodding and smiling as well. The language isn't progressing very quickly, I guess if I was in a place where everyone spoke only Spanish it might be a little easier. But Elder Hicks and I are planning on speaking 100% Spanish for week 5 , which is in a couple weeks! 
 
Well, we didn't get too far with any investigators this week. The only thing that is harder about a mission that I thought, so far, is feeling and seeing the Spirit testify to people and then watching them do nothing about it. Faith is a principle of action! I love these people so much, but it is hard to tell them that what they are doing (nothing) isn't going to help them. I am learning more and more everyday though. Elder Hicks is very social and good friends with pretty much everyone in the ward, so I have gotten to know the ward pretty quickly. They are awesome people, but they are scared, like many members, of opening their mouths to share the Gospel. At zone meeting this week, we got a bit chastised as a zone of how we are spending our time. We have so much work to be doing, and there is no time for hanging out in members homes, attending ward parties and socials and sporting activities. I guess I always thought it was cool missionaries would come and play basketball with us, but in reality there are good, better, and best things to be doing with the Lords time. The time we spend with members should be concise, and focused on helping them learn to become member missionaries. I have noticed sometimes in members homes we just sit there, and talk. It bothered me, because I often cant interject because I don't know the language very well yet, and also I am the Junior companion. But I realized there are more important things to be doing.  Elder Hicks is very sensitive and willing to listen about my concerns, so I told him what I thought. Since then, we have been making companionship goals pretty much everyday of how we can better consecrate ourselves in the Lord's service. We are learning a lot together.

So, General Conference! Yea. I love it. I cannot say I have ever felt that way about it, but it was probably a couple of my favorite days so far in the mission. First of all, the stress on member missionary work was so awesome! I loved Elder Edward Dube's talk about never looking back, and how we must all participate in hastening of the work of salvation. ALL. I don't think everyone realizes that. This is a team effort. We are all needed, everyone in their own situation. If we stand close in our purpose and lift where we stand, wherever it may be, we can help! "In the sight of the Lord, it is not so important what we have done or where we have been, but rather WHERE we will GO." We can be his instruments in bringing others unto happiness if we will go where he needs us to go. And "how great will be [our] joy!" 
 
 
 Elder S. Gifford Neilson said that "the work will not move forward in the Lord's intended way without US." And by US, he means US! Not just the missionaries, but everyone! As members of the Church, we have been given the blessing of knowing the truthfulness of the Restored Gospel in these Latter Days and of its absolute importance for the whole world. So share it! If you don't know it is true, I personally invite you to get on your knees and find out. When you come to a knowledge that it is true and that we all need the healing power of Christ's Atonement, you will feel a desire to share its happiness with those you love. It is my testimony that we can pray for the strength we need to overcome whatever personal worries or inadequacies we may have. The Lord will surely bless us with the ability to open our mouths and be his instrument. He has done so for me, and I feel his love for me stronger everyday, because I am in constant need of his help. 
 
 
I loved Elder Uchtdorf's story in Priesthood Session of his grandson reaching out his hand. I feel that sometimes the Savior is reaching out his hand to me and I am not paying attention. I think I can get back on my feet alone. The truth is, I cant. His hand is always outstretched, and he tells us "You can do it now". And we can. The Savior's mercy can carry us through any trial or sorrow or sin, if we take hold of His hand, his gospel, and his love. "Our success isn't determined by how many times we stumble and fall, but rather how many times we rise up." Keep going! Whatever it may be, it is meant to teach us something! 
 
 
When I gave my farewell talk before I left, I was completely scared. In preparing for it, I could not focus or seem to get anything done. It seemed the adversary was working very hard on me at that time. Again and again I gave up and decided to write it later, but again and again I returned to it, trying my best to get something done. The simple principle I finally realized was that I could not do it alone. I wish I could say public speaking was my forte, but that would be a lie. But even if I was, I would still need the help from the Lord in order to deliver his message. So finally, I humbled myself, prayed, and asked for help. In doing so, I took hold of the Saviors hand, and let him help me. "You can do it now." And I did. Because I stopped relying on myself and began to trust the Lord, he helped me overcome a personal weakness and struggle. I know he can and will do the same for everyone who recognizes theirs weaknesses and allows the Lord to turn them into strengths (Ether 12:27). 
 
I hope this doesn't bore you all. While it may seem like a lot of responsibility we have, it is so important! My testimony is so important to me. It pulls me through both sunshine and storm. I love this work! As Elder Richard G. Scott said, let us "fill our lives with service to others, and the power of the adversary over us will be diminished."
 
 
I love you all! I hope all is well! I promise I am still me, but the mission is truly changing me for the better. :)

Hasta semana proxima!

Elder Christensen

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